Time to read: 3 minutes. Most cold email templates and InMail templates I’ve found don’t work. Here is a fast, painless way to get more sales-focused conversations going using email or LinkedIn InMail messages. The trick is helping prospects become so curious they cannot resist responding—asking questions.
Success is all about applying copywriting techniques that create irresistible curiosity in you. Below is a better template to get started.
The problem with most cold email templates is they:
All of this adds-up to an in-ability to be provocative.
To spark curiosity in the reader.
“You know what tips buyers off that the email they’re reading is a sales pitch?
‘Hi, My name is John Smith, and I’m a sales rep at Company.’
Yup. That’ll do it,” says Emma Brudner of HubSpot.
She says you should never hide. I agree. Buyers need to know you’re a seller. But there are far more creative and engaging ways of opening sales emails than the standard name-and-company introduction.
My clients report the same.
“Hi, I’m a salesperson” encourages readers to hit “delete” immediately.
“Which is a shame because you probably have something valuable to offer,” says Emma.
Instead, you can:
For example, a few of my students use the phrase, “Are you doing everything possible to _____________ ?” [insert customer’s goal] very effectively.
Few people are always doing everything possible to reach their goal. This approach forces the reader to stop and think for a moment—about their current situation.
“Am I doing everything possible?”
This often creates curiosity in what the sender has to say next. (encourages the customer to read on)
Another student I work with uses, “Are you ____________ [insert goal they want] within _________ ?” [insert time frame they would LOVE to achieve the goal].
Here’s what it looks like.
“Are you recovering 38% of your equipment in the first 2 weeks?” (when you know they are NOT and would LOVE to)
This helps you get into a situation where you can mention a potential solution.
This helps the reader to wonder, “what exactly is the sender getting at—what are they proposing?”
“Hey Susan, I came across your site through our mutual…”
“Hi Susan, I read your profile on LinkedIn and wanted to reach out…”
“Hi Susan, I see you are connected with (insert name) and I’m wondering if…..”
“Apologies for the manner at which I am approaching you. My name is …”
“Hello, hope you are doing well…”
Your prospects have email spam filters. Cold email templates are being filtered out before they even see them!
Your prospects themselves are human spam filters. They see these (above) words over-and-over every day in poorly crafted cold email templates. Avoid getting deleted by not sounding like everyone else who is spamming your prospects.
Don’t do this:
Hello John,I came across your profile on LinkedIn and noticed you won a top CIO recognition from ABC Association in 2014. Congratulations. While it might be old it speaks volumes of your experience and expertise…
Here’s a quick way to fix your under-performing cold email template. Count all the references to yourself or your company. Target them for removal (preferred) or reduction.
Try and remove as many as possible.
I admit, not using a bunch of “I”s seems obvious. Yet you’ll find “I”s all over the place—in cold email templates that struggle to (or claim to be) successful.
Take a look—right now—at your email templates.
Be sure to:
You can do this right now with your existing cold email templates. Or when done crafting new email or LinkedIn InMail templates go back and see if you can pluck “I”s out of it.
You’ve probably tried a lot of email templates already. Most just don’t work. If you’re willing to put a little work into these, here are the best cold email template examples I’ve found.
Do your cold templates focus on the recipient? You might think so. But those doggone “I”s will sabotage you every time!
Here’s an example from my inbox, with the details obfuscated to protect the innocent! Notice how terribly self-centered this message is.
I’ve recently moved into a sales role and manage customers such as _______ who use our voice, data and wifi. I was hoping to connect with you virtually and hopefully in person to learn of the challenges that your company faces so I could advise my customers on what other players in a similar domain are using.Do you think we can connect?Thank you in advance,[name]
Instead, compare this cold email formula to the above approach. See the difference?
SUBJECT: Does this make sense for you?
Hi, [first name] Would you be open to a strange but effective way to _________________ ? [what your customer wants, positively, or needs to avoid, negatively]
If so, I’ll tell you about how Amazon.com was able to _________________ [what your customer dreams of being able to do] … all without ____________ [what your customers believe they need to sacrifice, but don’t]
Are you open to a short email exchange—to decide if a larger conversation is warranted?
Please let me know your decision, [first name]?
Thanks for considering,
Bye the way, I offer an InMail Writing Clinic that let’s you watch me improve messages for volunteer “guinea pigs.”
If you attend I guarantee you’ll take-away a few cold email templates to test. See you then?
Image credit: Adrian Clark
Jeff Molander is the authority on starting conversations with busy people. As founder of Communications Edge Inc. he teaches a proven, effective communications technique to spark buyers curiosity in sales outreach & marketing messages. He's a sought-after sales communications trainer to individual reps, teams of sellers and small businesses owners across the globe. He's an accomplished entrepreneur, having co-founded the Google Affiliate Network and what is today the Performics division of Publicis Groupe.Jeff served as adjunct digital marketing faculty at Loyola University’s school of business. His book, Off The Hook Marketing: How to Make Social Media Sell for You, is first to offer businesses a clear, practical way to create leads and sales with technology platforms like Facebook, LinkedIn, YouTube and blogs.